I play fantasy football. We have a league in my office. This year, I drafted Tom Brady as my quarterback.
As my son said yesterday, "I hate Tom Brady as much as the next guy.."
But this is fantasy football, which, as I've learned over the years, is not about drafting guys you like. I say "learned," but I'm pretty sure most of my office would disagree, and they do have a point. I have a lot of Giants on my team. Every year. I usually try to draft Eli, but everyone in the office knows my plan, so they bid him up (we do an auction draft, which is way better than a snake - if you haven't tried it, you should).
So this year, I spent good fake money on Brady. And the whole room looked at me like I was broken. Eyebrows raised, unintelligible muttering, drool splashing on our new conference room table. When I told my wife, she was pissed. Like, for real pissed, not just talking trash like the people in my office. But hey, he's been an elite fantasy quarterback since before I was born (cuz, you know, he's really old).
Last night was the first game, the Chiefs at the Patriots. I sat down, ready to watch the fantasy points roll in. And they did - for Alex Smith, and Kareem Hunt, and Mike Gilislee. And Brady? He sucked.
But remember, I hate Brady as much as the next guy. I love to see him lose. That look on his face, sitting on the sideline, like life's not fair. I mean, here's a guy who's only won five super bowls. He's only played his entire career for the greatest coach in the history of the NFL. He's only married to one supermodel at a time. And he's only lost in the super bowl to a Mr. Eli Manning, the greatest quarterback to ever play the game. Twice.
So anyway, I think I jinxed Brady by drafting him for my fantasy team. I could trade him, and my chances of winning my league would go up. Or... I could keep him. Let my fantasy team fail, just so I can see Brady and the Patriots lose, again and again and again.
I think I'll keep him.